And one of the most fascinating things about the oddest of people is that they really don’t know how odd they are; or how extremely entertaining it is to watch them talk, or even do nothing, from afar.
I spent the past two days (well, almost) at a friend’s place just hanging out and observing how he goes about his day. It’s always nice to people watch – I find it interesting how sensitive and understanding I become of the world around me just by opening myself up to the diversity of each and every person I encounter. And the great thing about having been in that very odd situation is that I found tangible normalcy where it was otherwise invisible.
Because at some point in the middle of all the oddity, I realized nothing or no one ever really is legit enough to be a point of comparison as to what or what isn’t odd. The kind of judgement that is rooted by spiteful ignorance isn’t fun – but it makes you think. And when you start thinking about the right things, they eventually lead you to the right perception, the right direction.
Anyway everything written above isn’t really related to the following pictures. And since most of you probably didn’t even get whatever point I was trying to make, (if I even had one) here are some of my old artworks:
I got home and stormed my stuff for old artworks… I realized I haven’t done enough art the past few months.
Because suddenly, in the middle of all the oddity, there it was - hinspiration.
I find it really difficult that I get attracted easily. I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t had too many relationships, so I fall freely; or if I’m just very fickle.
But the sad thing is, no matter what the reason behind my being easily swooned, I always end up getting the deepest battle scar. Maybe it comes along with being carefree and all-out when it comes to love – or well, more fitting, romanticism – or maybe it’s just because I’m always stupid enough to believe in things that don’t necessarily exist in the world that I so boldly choose to tread. I believe in love too much, in people who are involved in it, and the possibility of success despite and in spite of all the odds. People tell me I’m stupid, reckless and indecisive…but chimerical I say - where we invest our love, we invest our life.
Whisper the most important things in the quiet And lie beneath the comets And lie in between stars And change the world aroud us For we couldn’t mend ours
Well maybe when I leave someday You’ll realize what you got Or maybe you’ll remain the same And just blame me for someone I am not
Oh darling do you remember How we used to say The things others couldn’t We touched while others lay
In the humming of the lonely Sky lit star You curse all that reminds you of me Claiming we never were at par
I coward behind these words That are written but unsaid In the deep nothingness of a lonely night On the endlessness of yet another empty bed
And these questions I know the answer to Linger under every wasted breath Shared between kisses that didn’t last long enough Twisted in the love you thought was different
Then you make random, illegitimate excuses so that you can justify your stubbornness - your constant fight to go against anything that I want to do because you don’t want to go out of your comfort zone. Because once you do, we both will see what we have known all along… that you’re scared. And that you don’t have enough passion inside you to even want to do anything with the world around you. You don’t know who you are and you let yourself be defined by what others perceive you to be and you settle for that. You don’t want to learn new things, you don’t want to go beyond your limit, you don’t want to invest your love.
And sadly, darling, where you invest your love, you invest your life. You invest on nothing, so you have nothing to live off on.
But the sadder thing is, I stay and watch you do exactly the same thing every single day as a little part of me dies along with the null that comes with your nothingness.
Well sometimes it’s kinda about choosing to stagnate because you’ve gone through enough to know that everything will eventually end up like that - stagnant. Nothing ever remains as fun or loving or exciting or overwhelming or passionate or anything for long enough. That is why I can’t blame people who choose to stagnate at an early stage - those people who refuse to open doors for you, or kiss you when you’re mad, or bring you to the airport…
Because in this world, everything will reach its climax then eventually dissipate into stagnancy.
And maybe that’s why working on your faith is so difficult; maybe that’s why it takes so much effort to feed your soul, to trust in Him, to be kind to those who aren’t, to love fearlessly - because faith, I believe, is the only thing in this world that never reaches a peak nor drops to stagnancy. It is that one thing that, when you receive, stays constant and unwavering and restless in showing itself in your life. It is, well, faithful.
