The most fascinating thing about sadness is how much it consumes the whole of you part by part.
First, you find yourself in a crowd of people who you love and love you back, and you’ll always be the only one in the corner writing something down on your Moleskin or drawing a random person you miss on your pad.
Then you find yourself listening to the Beatles singing about life and how people change and how they die and how you would always love them, and start asking yourself if people really love, or even simply, remember, that way these days.
Then you start looking for momentary Nirvana found in books, food, travel, and all the wrong things that only a superficial world with superficial wants can offer.
Then you try to look for people to blame your sadness to.
Then you write a blog entry at 2 in the morning about your sadness even though it’s a surefire self-depricating move that will definitely put you on top of people’s ‘what-not-to-do-on-Tumblr’ list.
But all these things happen only by choice. I guess as with anything else in this world, happiness, gratitude, love, passion, (I did say everything, need I go on?), sadness is a choice we make. It never really is about the environment you’re in, the circumstances you are put through, the jobs that you lose, the relationships that don’t work out or the love you thought would be different.
No; it is always about making that choice every single day, when you find yourself staring at the abyss and feeling like it’s staring right back at you - you withdraw. From all the drama and the heartache and the why not’s and the why did he have to do that - you withdraw and pull yourself back in the reality that your life is a sum of all the choices you make and that you will have to stop letting other people make those decisions for you.
Maybe you should stop letting yourself be defined by your past, or by what society expects of you or by whatever sick standard people set these days. Make a choice. Be bold enough to let go of your inhibitions. Step out of your comfort zone. Live to love and love to live and love fearlessly and love the unkind and forgive the unforgivable and forget the regrets, keep the lesson, and do not hurt the people you did ever again along the way.
Make a new path. Pray. Believe in the good that can and will come out of you, and those around you. And above all things, make these choices with a brawling heart that heeds for positivity and goodness and not just acceptance. We are all, anyway, just passers by in this world - so why sacrifice who you can be for a place you don’t even belong in?
Maybe, just maybe, call me.
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