April 20, 2014

She is not “my girl.”

She belongs to herself. And I am blessed, for with all her freedom, she still comes back to me, moment-to-moment, day-by-day, and night-by-night.

How much more blessed can I be?


— Avraham Chaim, Thoughts after The Alchemist (via shayeofodile)

(Source: avraham-chai, via dopeydoo)

April 20, 2014
In between arrows and aims

My tummy’s grumbling

But my heart is full

My mama always told me

You can’t have it all


His feet kept dragging

She tried to keep cool

His words are lacking

She always knew

She can’t have it all


Her fingers lingered

Underneath the bed

His lips set quivered

Maybe she should’ve left instead


Love is patient

Love is kind

Love is all that one can find


Love is clueless

Love is pure

Love will keep you

Coming back for more


The odd thing is that I used to religiously keep a gratitude journal that I would update every single night with things that reminded me from the day that was of why I should remain grateful; and the past 3 months have by far been the best for 2014 – and sadly also, my longest backlog.


I have no idea what to put into this blog post entry, (which is the main reason why I always told my manager I could never be a blogger) and I haven’t written anything past 140 characters in a couple of weeks so you might want to switch to a more interesting and coherent piece of writing to consume your late Sunday evening or early Monday morning (whichever you prefer calling this time of the hour - I believe in democracy and freedom, also, that one can never have enough enclosed parentheses in paragraphs, but that’s just me).


My tummy is bulging out of my white, lace Sunday dress from the accumulated effort of a 4-day getaway that might as well be my complete and full food consumption for the next month or so. On most days, I would feel bad – especially since one of the last few sentences I took away from this evening is “Yeah, Paris Hilton is SO hot.”(Yes, the tall, skin to bone blonde that swears by the words of Coco and lives off of so many things I dare not mention) who is, by the way, really beautiful but is just a tad too much for this 21 year old polar opposite.


But tonight I’d like to remind myself of how much I am missing out on mountainous beautiful things this universe has to offer by wasting my energy trying to please so many people in my life (including myself and the twisted standards I have grown dangerously in love with,) with pegs I could never live up to and expectations I don’t ever want to fulfill but, will terribly always try to. Tonight I’d like to remind you, dear stranger, who might feel the need to belong in some sort of orthodox in order to find happiness, peace, and fill the hole that’s been on a constant whirl inside or through your heart, that it is okay to not look, think, act, feel, make friends, have fun, dance, fall in love, fall out of love, not fall at all, etc etc a certain way. I have spent too many nights trying to convince myself that maybe I should live my life a certain way so that people will start understanding me better – that I’m not stick thin, or that I like a weird era of music, or that I like to eat fast and sing out of nowhere or that my tattoos have deeper meaning than what you will ever care to grasp or I could ever mutter up the words to explain - ergo my inner crowd pleaser will be happier ergo in general I’ll be happier.

But what I realized is that in life, we are on a constant battle with so many people and things and factors that we may or may not be able to control or conquer. But the most important battle one can ever brave are the ones that take place deep in your stomach, in the corners of your mind, in the shattered windows of your heart, and in the calloused beauty of your soul – changing the factors and circumstances isn’t always the best gameplay; running will keep you moving forward, but only when you finally realize that you also need to crawl, leap, jump, and face life in such a way that it liberates you more than it scares you, will you really understand what it means to live.

Like a blind man seeing sunlight for the first time, like the farthest of oceans feeling its shore once more.

Brush it off, slow things down, fill yourself up, remember why you are blessed beyond words, and forgive even when they don’t ask for it. Be kind especially when you don’t feel like it, and understand that the soul of the universe hangs on a thin wire that does not require certain standards of beauty, luxury, acceptance, education, lust, company, or whatever it is you feel you lack, but of love. And may you pass on the light and keep moving forward because at the end of the day all you will be able to leave on this earth is not fame, fortune, beauty or the likes, but a trail that hopefully one day will bring others home.

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April 15, 2014

This is how I imagine you would feel at this moment, like the rest of the world is frozen and it’s just you two; together for what would seem like forever.



This is how I imagine you would feel at this moment, like the rest of the world is frozen and it’s just you two; together for what would seem like forever.

(via alyxinwonderland)

March 31, 2014


March 16, 2014
Salt & pepper, dark & Light

I apologize in advance for being a walking paradox, for maybe talking a little (a lot) too loud, downing burritos in suit and tie events, and for being in constant audible conversational battles with myself.

I haven’t quite figured it out yet - this whole growing up and getting old thing - and maybe I never will. It’s quite scary either way, but if there is anything I have learned in my young adventures to become salt and light, it’s that life is a constant trial and error. On nights like these as I run on nothing but left over caffeine and adrenaline in my blood, my vision gets hazed and my dreams are knocked by the knee because of just how little I know of what I can do to reach my goals and ride a blazing chariot of fire away from this world and towards my last sunset.

But where would life’s greatest lessons, misadventures, and finding-the-pot-of-gold moments be found without the lacking, the null, and the yet-to-be-filled?

So remember - beautiful things are yet to come, and beautiful things have been.
Beautiful things are here and now, beautiful things come to those who are brave enough to dream.

The clock ticks a little more oddly on deep Sunday hours.

2:43pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZCS0Ew1AJW0QU
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